Joyfully Married

4 Tips to Strengthen a Long Distance Marriage

Marriage is hard, anyone who tells you otherwise has either never been married or is lying to you.  When you add 650 miles to that relationship, it gets even tougher.  My husband took a new position at his job, it is a blessing that has answered many prayers.  Unfortunately, it has the downside of him spending 75% of the time on the road.  At first, I was afraid, not only of being on my own with all the household duties and raising of the children but also of how it would affect our relationship.  There is that awful cliché that absence makes the heart grow fonder, blah! I’m not saying that it does not hold truth, but that is the last thing that a wife wants to hear when her husband is far from home.  The truth is, just as when you are under the same roof, marriage takes work.  Absence can be used to make the heart grow fonder or it can be used by the devil to eat away at your union.  Today, I write about 4 ways to help strengthen your marriage, even if you are 650 miles away.

Absence can be used to make the heart grow fonder or it can be used by the devil to eat away at your union.

Pray Together

We all know that prayer is important, it is pretty much on every Christian “5 Tips to…” list.  But praying together is a whole other level.  Not only are your prayers strengthened but praying together develops a deep spiritual intimacy that can’t be broken.  Praying together, not just at meals, gives our spouse a look inside our deepest fears and hopes.  Make time today to pray together, even over the phone.

Not only are your prayers strengthened but praying together develops a deep spiritual intimacy that can’t be broken.

 Flirt

Men aren’t that different from women, we both want to know that we are desired.  Flirting can be as simple as sending a text of how much you miss them, and wish they were next to you.  A phone call of sweet praises and not complaining about your day.  Send him a link to a song from when you were dating.  Dress up and send him a picture.  Anything that lets him know that you still see him as an attractive man and not just as a father, provider, or handyman.

 Have Marriage Meetings

Marriage meetings are just as important when he is far away.  Set a time that fits your family, once a week or once a month and treat it as an appointment to be kept.  It is a time not only to discuss schedules and upcoming events but to encourage each other.  I know that some husbands would probably laugh at the idea of having a meeting with their wife.  If your husband happens to be one of those, don’t call your conversation a “meeting,” just remind yourself to check in with him and start communicating.  Share with your spouse your fears, frustrations, hopes, goals and ask about his.  It is a time, to be honest and open, to be loving and compassionate.  Be the one whom your husband wants to share with.  Open communication safeguards your marriage from negative emotions taking control.

Open communication safeguards your marriage from negative emotions taking control.

Make Time for Each Other

Finding quality time is not always easy, even when you are together, but it is vital for a strong marriage.  Time doesn’t have to mean date-night-out, although, this is important too.  Find something that you both enjoy; it can be a glass of wine on the sofa, reading a book together(such as this book about Marriage), playing a game on the phone long-distance.  The purpose is that you are intentionally focused on just doing together.

I have been counting down the days until my husband returns, literally, marking them off on a calendar.  But because we continue to pray together, send flirtatious texts, have regular “meetings,” and make time for each other while he is gone our reunion will be a time of joy and peace.  Our marriage will be stronger from the absence because we continue to do the things that strengthen our union rather than allow the devil to break it down.

To read about other ways to show love to your husband, check out The Beauty of Submission.

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